Nothing is Certain.

It’s been sprinkling on and off all day. The air outside is all cold and over cast.

I love it!

Today I’ve seen a cast of thousands, a lot of the people that I have gotten to know during my time here. All the kids from school, the teachers I met at the 3 days of classes I attended, and Kimley, the Halloween girl. I might have dinner with Karin.

I’m really leaving.

I haven’t packed yet, but I’m thinking of not sleeping tonight so that I will on the plane, that should put me well on the track to being in the right timezone when I get back.

I still don’t really comprehend that I’m not coming back to a place called my home, a house.

I guess I’m coming back to people I call home.

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Yesterday I went to Design Festa. By the end of the day I was nearly vibrating with the desire to be creative.

The place was enormous and full of paintings, ceramics, woodwork, photography, stuffed animals, metal, every type of art or craft imaginable.

And I was accompanied by my two favorite people in Japan, Tony and Karin.

They were perfectly suited for this show, they appreciated everything about it. It was a great day.

Tony still goes to KCP, so he had to take off after the Festa. Karin and I went to some part of Tokyo I had yet to go. We had Italian food, and then met up with her friend at a shishe shop, also known as a hookah bar. We had mint tobacco and I learned how to blow a smoke ring, I got it to work a couple times.

After that we went to a french cafe where we met more people, a hairdresser, a makeup artist, and a photographer. Karin needed to have some photos taken for a Frida Kahlo event she is making some posters for, and these guys had agreed to help.

Eventually, it was time to go so that we did miss the last train. The photographer asked if I would come with Karin to the shoot and she would take some pictures of me as well, but I’ll be long gone by then.

I certainly am having a good last week here. It makes me wish that it wasn’t my last week here.

I missed the last train at my connection in Shinjuku, but it was an easy walk away from there to my house.

On the way, I thought about leaving, and thought about the possibility of staying. I occurred to me that maybe leaving when there are things to miss is the best thing to do. It’s what I did last time, and look where I am now.

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OH NO! SIX DAYS!

It’s my last Friday in Japan for this trip to Japan!

That’s right, this trip. I might be leaving, but I can always come back.

That makes leaving Japan easier. What it does not make easier is leaving my new found friends.

Last weekend was Halloween, and like a good little pagan, I donned face paint (I was the Joker) and danced the night away… well, maybe not danced…

But I was at a club! I met up with four of the guys from the school I didn’t go to and we wandered around Shibuya looking for a place to par-tay.

Eventually we found some clubs, and paid 1000 yen to get in.

To a completely empty club.

Not actually empty, there were two Japanese girls sitting in the corner, one dressed as Snow White, the other, a pirate.

Not even actually as empty as that either, because there were several floors to this club, and it turned out that we were not on the top floor, as we had originally thought. There was still another floor, where all the people were. I convinced the pirate and Snow White to join us upstairs. It turned out that the pirate had actually lived in New York for a couple years and spoke very good English.

The five of us and the two of them hung out upstairs, until the five of us became the one of me. The other guys lived more than an hour away by train, so to make it home before the trains stopped, they had to leave at 11.

So it was down to the criminal, the princess, and the pirate.

Then, the princess and the pirate left.

I followed them out, because I had nothing better to do. Once outside they took of and left me standing in front of the club. Luckily, the pagans were now out in force. I saw a group of them speaking English, so I walked over and asked the time.

I think is was my costume that endeared me to them because I was soon back in the same club with my new group of friends , Sam, Kimmy, Rael, and others that I never actually got the names of.

Kimmy needed to go home before the trains stopped, so I walked her to the trains and decided to head home too.

The next day Kimmy invited me to another Halloween, where I met more people, one of them was another Richard.

Tuesday and Wednesday were devoted to recovery and souvenir shopping.

Then, Wednesday, I finally got to go to Disney Sea again!

Tragedy would strike, but it wouldn’t come for 2 hours.

The very first ride I rode was The Journey to the Center of the Earth. The girl in line in front of me turned out to be from the Czech Republic. Her name is Lenka, and she is living in Malaysia, taking classes in 3D graphics and animation. Lenka dislikes Malaysia quite a bit, and wants to move to New York. She was visiting Japan for the week and was at Disney Sea alone.

So I was Lenka’s guide for the day.

We actually went to one show that I had missed the first time I was there. It was a live action Little Mermaid show. It was incredible.

I have not seen the Lion King Broadway show, but I think it would be accurate to say that this was the much shorter, Little Mermaid version of that show. Many of the performers were suspended from the ceiling, operating very complex marionettes. From various types of fish to the tentacles, hands, and face of Ursula. I’ve never seen anything like it.

By the way, the tragedy stuck when I found that my favorite ride of all, Storm Rider, was closed for the day. I actually considered returning another day, but I think the memories of the five times I rode it the first time I came to Disney Sea will have to hold me over til the next time I come to Japan.

Lenka left at about 530, I stuck around and rode most of the rides again.

Before Lenka left, we made plans to meet in Ueno the following morning.

We went to Ueno park, walked around Ueno lake, and then visited Ueno Zoo!

Ueno zoo is best known for it’s giant Panda Ling-Ling. The giant panda was what Lenka most wanted to see. We saw birds, bears, monkeys, lions, snakes, hippos, tapirs, tigers, capybaras, elephants, even okapis.

Nowhere though, was there a giant panda.

The gift shops sold panda-everything. There were panda statues and pictures The zoo guide had a panda on the cover, but where was Ling-Ling?

Finally, when we could think of nothing else, we went to the information booth. There on a bulletin board was a 8.5×11 piece of paper saying:

To Visitors:

There has been NO GIANT PANDA in Ueno Zoo,
since the Giant Panda, “Ling-Ling” died on 30th April 2008.

Have a good Time!

I did get to watch several animals relieve themselves though, so the day was not a total loss.

And those monkeys are fricken hilarious.

No Storm Rider. No Ling-Ling

We would not give in to our sadness. Instead, we headed to Shibuya to meet up with two of Lenka’s friends, Karyn, also from the Czech Republic, and Koji from the west coast of Japan.

Karyn is here on a fine arts grant for two years. A very artsy girl, into discussing art and collecting new material for her art, which uses multiple mediums. Part of the exhibit she is working on will cover the idea of “the gentleman” in Japanese culture.

We stopped at a cool little restaurant. Karyn whipped out her video camera and started recording Koji and I discussing what being a gentleman means. I first had to explain to Koji, what the concept of a gentleman was, and then he told me Japanese men weren’t into that.

Koji, by the way, is a inventory manager at the IKEA that will be opening soon here in Tokyo.

After the food, we went to a pub, where we started taking pictures with Karyn’s camera. She got the staff and various patrons to take the pictures for us, until she eventually asked James.

James is an accountant from London (originally from Manchester). He and his two friends Neil (also an accountant) and another guy were here on a weeks vacation. The other guy had gotten drunk the night before and broke his arm arm-wrestling. It was so bad that he had to cut the trip short a day and go home.

James and Neil joined our group and we went out to look for somewhere new to go, because some other unrelated English guys had gotten very drunk and begun singing sports team fight songs at the top of their lungs.

Koji had to leave then, and we didn’t get far before Lenka, who had a train to catch to the airport at 600 this morning, announced that she had to go. Karyn left with Lenka, probably because she didn’t want to be stuck with three strange guys all night. The girls thought I should stay out and have fun, so I stuck with James and Neil. They actually had a hotel there in Shibuya and offered to let me use the arm-wrestler’s now vacant bed if I couldn’t party all night.

It turned out none of us could, and by 330 am we were all asleep.

That brings us to this morning, and nothing of real interest has happened since.

Fortunately, I don’t have to feel bad about leaving all of these new friends behind. Some of them have already left Japan and more will be leaving before I do. Some are now friends of mine on Facebook. Kimmy will be visiting California while I’m back in America, Lenka might be in New York when I get there, and James and Neil offered to put me up a couple nights when I come through London, even invited me to a cricket match.

All of this brings me back to a theme I think has run through a couple of my latest posts.

I want to stay, but I’m not going to. Even though I am having such a good time, I have to move on.

That way I can experience new new things, meet even more cool people, and maybe see some of the cool people I’ve already met, again.

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friends, Japan, moving on

A wise man once said:

Have you ever had the feeling that you wanted to go?
And still had the feeling that you wanted to stay?
Started to go. Changed your mind.
Started to go again, and then changed your mind again?

I’m probably paraphrasing but that’s how I remember it from when I saw the clip in the movie, My Stepmom’s an Alien.

Well, that’s about how I feel about Nov. 13, and that’s still a whole 11 days away.

I will have been here for a month an a half then. Not as long as I had originally planned, but a pretty long time when you’ve got nothing better to do than whatever you feel like.

After a month and a half, whatever you feel like is sometimes just stilling at home and watching TV (btw, TrueBlood is kinda crappy, but still interesting.)

I feel as though my time here is to the point where, if I were to stay, I’d not be visiting, I’d be living here.

There are things here that I love.

• All the lights.
• All the noise.
• The smell of cigarette smoke.
• The crowds.
• The fact that so many people walk here, and at all times, day or night.
• Public drinking and drunkenness.
• Subways.
• Skyscrapers.
• The idea of restaurants putting the ordering and prep of foods on one floor and seating on another, thus cutting down on the noise so you can enjoy your meal or Starbucks with out all the beeping or blendering.
• My very favorite Starbucks of all time.
• The fact that anything you want is probably within 3 to 4 blocks from where you are. Always.
• Saying things in Japanese. My favorite being “Chyoto mate kudasai”, which means “one moment, please”.
• Kamakura, the beach city an hour south of Tokyo. Beautiful.
• Karaoke.
• Vending machines.
• Claw games.
• Street performers.
• People dressed up.
• People who don’t think they are dressed up, but are by American standards.
• All the other crazy stuff the Japanese do or have.

Hm, that list got really long, and I stopped myself.

Here’s the thing. This is my time. My time to not stop. I’ve been to Japan, twice now. It’s a travel rut. It’s ordering the same thing every time you go to Coldstone. (I do that too)

There are so many other places I have never been. I don’t want to leave, but at the same time I feel like I have to get out of here. Japan can’t be my favorite place if Japan is the only place I ever go.

I’m so excited to be coming home. Which I guess I is my label SoCal/California/America. Technically, which is so me, this room is my home. It’s the only place I have to live in that I can call my own. Right now there is someone else living in my old home, all of their stuff where my stuff used to be.

I didn’t have time when I left to separate from anything. Part of me thinks I’m going to go back to ol’ #35, play my Xbox, sleep in my bed.

How long will it be before I see in my own bed again?

I have serious thoughts about stopping. Finding a place. Recollecting all my things.

I’d stop someplace cool, and I’d do something I wanted to do. It would need to have crowds and subways, and tourists.

Once stopped though, how hard would it be to start again? How many times would I hit the snooze on traveling and go back to sleep in my own bed?

I’m freaked out about spending money. I feel like maybe if I just got a job for a little while longer I could save up the money to get the ticket around the world without dipping into my savings.

But then I think about the scales of my life. The ones that came to me in a lunch-piphany at Subway that led to my decision to actually quit my job. I can live on less if I’m happy with what I’m doing, and the scales still balance. Even if I had no saving the scales could still balance, and saving up money before is the same as making the money after.

When I was in Hiroshima I met this guy who was vacationing from Israel, his name was Yair. He asked my help showing him where we were on his map, and then ended up talking to me for 3 or 4 hours. He even walked with me to get some dinner. He’d already eaten, so he just sat there and we talked.

He told me about the last ten years of his life, his mandatory military tour, his two and a half weeks of job experience, and his years getting degrees at university, biology, chemistry, and physics. I told him about the plans I’d had all through my life to be various types of artists, going to college, getting my job, and eventually leaving it.

I also explained my scales idea, and the idea that what ever you love most can be the thing that fills both sides of the scale.

He told me, not in a bad way, that I sounded like a self-help book. I told him, that I’d read enough of them, and that they all said variations of the same thing, which my scales idea was just another variation of. How could they all be saying the same thing and not have at least some truth. If it worked then it must be truth, or truth was wrong, either way it didn’t really matter.

It’s a great idea. A real, workable idea. Now I just have to actually apply it. I have to do what I want and feel good about it. It’s not something I’m used to. Some people 2nd guess, I infinity guess. But, I know what I told Yair is right.

In any case, Nov 13 I’m coming “home”.

There are so many things I’m looking forward to. Top among them, seeing friends and family, going to concert(s), and eating at Taco Bell.

When I do stop I think I’ll want to be different. I’ll walk more and drive less. I’ll get a smaller place and use space more efficiently. I’ll spend more time outdoors. And I’ll cook.

I keep thinking of more things to write and it’s getting difficult to give them any kind of cohesion, so I guess I’ll stop.

Just to wrap things up, I’ll leave you with something a wise woman once said:

I know you won’t stay there forever,
I know you’re going to move.
Again,
and again,
and again.

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